Life is full of tensions. Full of them. There are so many voices that call us to so many different things in this world it’s hard to decide what actions to follow.
But lately, I’ve noticed that there are two tensions in particular that have been tugging at me. And maybe they’re tugging at you, too.
On one side, we have the “hurry up” tension. Be like Paul, run the race with everything you have, keeping your eye on the prize. Life is short – you have to live every day to the fullest. God has given us dreams, visions, callings, and passions – and they all beckon you to completely throw yourself at them, no matter what the obstacle may be.
I have passions. Dreams, visions, callings. All of those things – and they have been beckoning me for over a decade. I have spent most of that decade bound by such timidity that I couldn’t muster up the courage to pursue any of them. But one slightly ironic thing that happened in my life lately: my desire to pursue these things reached its highest height right when I became a mom.
For those of you that are already enjoying the adventures of parenthood – you understand the irony. When you become a mom, those callings must come to a temporary halt. You spend the first 6 months feeding, clothing, bathing, rocking your little one… then you get used to that routine. Your head comes above water, and you finally feel like you can breathe and have extra time to yourself once they learn to sleep through the night.
Then they start to scoot. Then they start to crawl. Then they start to walk. Then — what my little guy has started doing lately — they start to RUN.
They keep you fully occupied for the entire time they are awake – and they turn your house into shambles. All your extra time is spent cleaning up after them, doing dishes and laundry… knowing that you get to do it all over again the next day. (Don’t worry, I am far from bitter! I am totally smiling as I write all this, knowing Gideon brings so much joy into my life!)
Yet in the middle of all this transition into parenthood, I have still been yearning to write. I’ve been longing to work on music… but to very little avail. I wish I had the drive to follow the “hurry up” tension, go against all odds, and finally make something of these desires. And I would be lying if I said I haven’t been discouraged or disappointed in myself for barely making any progress when I have so much stirred up in me.
But I finally realized I need to have some grace for myself.
You see, I believe that in a world that has lately been screaming “HURRY UP! Get up off your lazy bum and accomplish something!” – there is an opposing tension that is quieter, less noticeable.
It’s the “slow down” tension. The call from God Himself to be still. A call to relax, not let your passions become a negative burden that makes you feel guilty for not pursuing them. To enjoy every little moment in life without constantly chasing after the next. And I gotta admit, the “slow down” tension makes me really uncomfortable.
Now, both the “hurry up” and “slow down” tensions have good messages to begin with. It is absolutely important to “hurry up” and pursue our passions and fight against meaningless distractions the world throws at our way (come on, we can all admit to checking Twitter or Facebook a little too much or playing one too many rounds of Angry Birds). It’s vital for us to quicken our pace so that we can gain momentum into what we are meant to do in life.
But what if you gain too much momentum? What if you’re constantly rushing to accomplish your next goal? You could miss out on a lot of life. You could start ignoring the important people around you: your spouse, your kids, your friends. You end up being selfish about your time.
That’s why it’s important to “slow down.” Enjoy the little conversations you cultivate with the people around you. Relax and rest in the evening after a day’s work – even if it’s “just staying home” and cleaning up after your kid. To not be so hard on yourself when you don’t reach a certain goal that may have been set a little too high to begin with.
But what if you slow down too much? What if you start cutting yourself too much slack? The consequences are surprisingly similar to when you’re moving too fast in life: you could miss out on a lot. You could start ignoring important people around you. You end up being selfish about your time.
So what then? How do we live life to the fullest without missing out on the little things? How do we know which rope to tighten or loosen?
Here’s what we can do: to find out whether you need to “hurry up” or “slow down,” simply think of which tension makes you feel uncomfortable, and give into it just enough without letting go of the rope that you’re so comfortable holding.
If you choose to live life intentionally, you will learn to appreciate the little moments but have the courage and indignation to not let life pass you by. You will learn to keep both tensions. And you will eventually find yourself living at the speed of life.
Posted on January 29, 2011
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